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Swipe Right

So... it's gotten to a point where the odds of finding a potential partner while going to a gym or standing in line at Starbucks doesn't seem to be in your favor, and you're left to wonder: “Will I ever meet someone worthwhile?” You’ve always thought online dating was weird or at least not an ideal option, but after hearing so many online dating success stories amongst peers and having endless lonely nights with Netflix and a pillow, you figure why not just give it a try.

During one of your infamous lonely nights, after a few glasses of wine, you make your way to your app store trying to decipher which dating app is worth downloading: OkCupid? Christian Mingle? Plenty of Fish? Black People Meet? Coffee Meets Bagel? Options are endless and almost overwhelming… *sigh* but let’s just choose Tinder for the hell of it. So... the app is now downloading it’s way into your phone’s storage space as you wonder if online dating is worthwhile...


Your new dating app is already on your phone so you may as well see what all this fuss is about.

Now it’s time to set up your profile. You scroll through your picture gallery to choose your best picture… or maybe two because this will be the first judgement made by the one looking at your profile, so it has to be perfect. A full body photo and perhaps a selfie seems to suffice for the moment. Now on to describing yourself. You know... a speed dating type cover letter that a potential suitor will skim through but most likely base their judgement on the photos you posted. So how much detail is really necessary? What should you even mention? Your education? Religion? Your occupation? Whether or not you own a car or like long walks on the beach? Stating you like cuddling and watching movies on a rainy day? Or keep it simple: just your name, age, where you’re from... maybe mention your education and whatever else they would like to know in detail, they can ask. Fair enough?

Now it’s time to swipe. Left equals no. Right equals yes. A few to the right because there’s always potential, right? But there’s definitely a whole lot more to the left because, you know, first impressions are everything and simply put, they should have just chosen a better photo. Just when you're swiping game has reached BOREDUM:


Now you're trying to decide whether or not you should say “hello” first. Isn't dating online suppose to make that pressure so much easier? Despite hesitation, you start a chat with a potential suitor with hope that this conversation is interesting enough to eventually exchange numbers, leave the app, talk over the phone, and set up a date. Unfortunately, you may have to sift through your options trying to weed out who's online simply for sex, who's online for love, and who's simply “looking for friendship”.


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